Magh 29, 533 BCE Shukravar

I think I have found the path to Nirvana. I am hungry, thirsty, and in grave need of a bath. But I am content. For now at least. Knowing myself, I will probably soon leave. But I shall give my all to this Samana lifestyle. My back aches from sleeping on the ground, I can't get a good night's sleep sometimes. Govinda is like a loyal puppy. Even so, I love him dearly. He is the one that has supported me the most. He does not understand my yearning for a purpose in living. I feel superior to him in ways, but he does not know that. The Samanas do not teach very well. I miss the proper teachings. Some travelers spoke to us about an "Enlightened One", as they called him. I am told he knows many things. Govinda and I wish to hear his teachings. Perhaps I shall finally hear a speech worth listening to. These old Samanas bore me with knowledge that I already know. Though I must admit that I have learned one thing: patience. My patience has been tested and is constantly being tested. I feel as though animals I see tempt me everyday. When I see them, I must contain myself from an outburst. My stomach growls as travelers cook their meals. Govinda has confided in me that it pains him to see them waste such food. To them it merely crumbs, but to us Samanas, a feast. It was difficult to beg for food at first. But, I was forced to become accustomed to it. Survival of the fittest is not really applied here. We are all trying to survive, but we won't kill each other for some scraps of meat. Meat! The sound of meat makes my mouth water. But I must be strong. I am tiring of this. I know there must be more to life. I must seek Enlightenment.  I hope the Illustrious One will lead me closer to Nirvana.